Purse Dogs and Septuagenarian Tribunals
This time 3 years ago, we found ourselves with our 45-pound lab mix stuffed into an LL Bean tote bag, standing in front of half a dozen Japanese septuagenarians with the power to decide our fate.
But let me back up.
Finding an apartment in Tokyo is its own special challenge. Being a gaijin (foreigner) cuts the potential real estate market in half, and not speaking Japanese cuts out another big chunk of options. Add a dog into the mix, and rental options are sparse.
We eventually found a place that would allow dogs, with one catch: we had to carry Bowie in all public spaces. The hallways, the elevator, the lobby. No problem, we thought; it’s a weird but small price to pay for a good home.
About a week after moving in, Bowie and I headed down to the parking garage. I dutifully carried her through the hallways and elevator. I put her down in the garage, figuring the garage floor was fair game for Bowie paws. Nope. A neighbor saw us and complained about a dog in a public area. On top of that, they also claimed that Bowie was too large and should be kicked out of the building.
We woke up the next day to an email from our management company saying they urgently needed to come over and measure Bowie as part of our defense, which we were to present at the next board meeting. If we failed, we’d be kicked out of the apartment.
The management company sent over over a very nice man to get the official measurements. Even though Bowie met the size requirements, he wasn’t entirely convinced it’d be enough. She looked big and the board could still decide against us. We had to figure out how to make her look as small and light as possible.
Enter: the LL Bean big tote. After a rush order, I spent the next few days sitting on the floor of a half-furnished apartment with a pile of dog treats, trying to coax a 7-year-old, very confused Bowie into an oversized tote bag.
The day of the tribunal meeting, we popped Bowie into the tote and went downstairs. We turned the corner past the front desk, through a doorway I’d previously assumed was a storage closet. Behind the door was a huge meeting room, and there stood a line of six Japanese septuagenarians, ready to inspect us. A couple were clearly holding back laughter, but the others were stone faced. One by one, they walked up to us for inspection. We showed them that we could indeed walk with Bowie in the bag. We let her out (yes, on the precious floor!) so they could judge her size. They conferred amongst themselves in Japanese, throwing some glances our way, and then we were dismissed.
Anxiety ruled the next few days, as we wondered if we’d need to restart our apartment search just weeks after moving around the world. Finally, we got word that we could stay, and the next day Bowie’s photo was plastered around the building, declaring her an approved tenant.
Yay! End of story, right? No.
A year later, I was pregnant and I thought, OK, surely they’ll understand that I can’t carry the dog now. I wrote a very respectful email asking them to waive the requirement for a few months. I tried to think of all the rational reasons for the requirement and offered to accommodate each: wipe Bowie’s feet before entering the building, dry her with a towel if it’s raining, take the stairs, never share the elevator with anyone.
Request denied.
They said to buy a dog stroller. Because we didn’t want to be kicked out, we dutifully ordered the only one that could hold a normal sized dog.
I spent the next 6 or so months pushing Bowie around the building. Our front desk manager Ban-san, who loved us, would giggle every time I came around the corner. I took some harmlessly petty pleasure in leaving that stroller right by the entryway as soon as we’d get outside. I’d park that sucker in front for all the neighbors to see and then go about with Bowie as usual. If our neighbors didn’t know Bowie before, they sure did then.
Now that we’ve left Japan, Bowie is loving her independence, and we’re loving the absence of dog purses and strollers. I will admit that sometimes I pick her up just for old times’ sake. She’s still not a fan.
Her face in those photos😂 also excellent title.
boodle bowie! x